Something beautiful ...

Something beautiful ...

Here is a beautiful page of audio and video cllips. I particulary enjoyed T.S. Eliot reading the first few lines of "The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock". Another beautiful sound is Oe Kenzaburo reading the first paragraph of his novel, "A Personal Matter", which is how i got to this page in the first place.

I've been incapacitated all day with a migraine. It started at around 10 a.m. and didn't let up all day. Carol says that i exhaust myself, but i don't believe her. What have i done to exhaust myself?

I've thought that maybe my migraines are coming back ...

I haven't had regular migraines since i was maybe fifteen years old. Once i started high school, they vanished. Of course, i would get a headache every now and then, but never the same intensity like those when i was younger. When i was twelve or so the headaches would come so often and so regularly that i ended up at the hospital and had a brain scan done.

This conjures up images of a young killy being fed into a CT magnet, but this never happened. Instead, a woman tied up my hair revealing a scalp that she could attach some wires to. I was sitting in a chair with my head leaning back. If i remember correctly, i believe another device was placed on my head that resembled a collander. This might explain my affinity for Eternal Sunshine...

The thought of my headaches returning is a scary one. I spent most of the day going in and out of sleep at work. Luckily, there is so little to do, my lethargy was hardly noticed. Only when my co-worker asked if i wanted to go out for lunch did he realize the extent of my pain. I talked to him with my eyes closed; I turned off my monitors; I moved the phone off of my desk. The pain was excrutiating. I slept for lunch. I tried to eat, but my stomach began to revolt as well.

I left 1/2 early without telling anyone. I just walked out the door. I had to get home. Luckily my mother happened to be in the mecical center accompanying my aunt to a Dr. appt. She drove me home while i lay down in the backseat. I jumped out of the car and headed straight to the bathroom for the most powerful wretch i had in a long time. It came with a force and pain that reminded me at once of my childhood - hitting my head against the wall to relieve the pain in my head; purposefully throwing up to get the nausea out of my stomach; burying myself under blanket after blanket to shielf my eyes from light, from sound, and from air; alternating between being really really hot and really really cold ...

another interesting phenomenon is the sweating. i wake up in the middle of the night just drenched with sweat. so much so that i have to towel myself off. this has been happening maybe once a week for the last three weeks or so. what can this mean? i vaguely remember sweating as a symptom of my migraines when i was a child. Is this common, i wonder.

diana? liz?