The Road to Recovery?

Tuesday

No change in the sores in my mouth. I woke up every hour last night. I finally got out of the bed at five, my mouth throbbing with pain. I couldn't open it, i couldn't close it; my mouth just hangs there dry like a burnt out house.

I tried to drink water - painful.
I went to the bathroom to rinse out and moisten my mouth. Slowly, very slowly. I fell asleep with my head down on the kitchen table again. I took my fourth antibiotic pill (on schedule) and another vicodin. I wiped my mouth with more kanka and went back to the bed at around 6 a.m.

I woke up at 7 as my mother was leaving with Barbara and the baby to take barb to school. She had left me some oatmel in a small bowl. I tried to eat it while she was away. My mother makes oatmeal the way i love it: kinda lumpy. There's no real chewing involved, but there is some mashing that has to be done before you can comfortably swallow her oatmeal. I couldn't do it. Impossible. Too painful. I almost threw the bowl, i was so frustrated.

Angry. Frustrated. How long am i going to live with this....